The first purpose of this paper was to reexamine the scale measuring motives to change the self-concept according to social relations (the relational self). The second purpose was to examine the feature of variability of the relational self by investigating the relation between Connected-Self Scale (C-Scale) and Separated-Self Scale (S-Scale). Four hundred sixteen college students were asked to answer 4 questionnaires (the degree, the motives, and the sense of their perceived variability of the relational self, and C/S-Scale). The main results were as follows: (1) Factor analysis of the motives to variability suggested a 2-factor structure (intentional and unintentional/unconscious). (2) The degree of variability and intentional and unintentional/unconscious were higher in women than in men. (3) Intentional was related to high score of C-Scale and low score of S-Scale for women, and unintentional/unconscious was related to high score of S-Scale for women. (4) Women with a high tendency for S-Scale felt more positive sense of variability than those with a low tendency. These findings suggest that the two phases of self (Connected/Separated) may relate the individual and gender differences in variability of relational self.