The purpose of this research was to clarify the conflicts and tensions faced by teachers who are in a position to lead research and professional development within their schools, and to provide suggestions regarding the support needed for school-based teacher educators. Through the research conducted a self-study methodology focusing on two teachers who had experienced leading professional development, the following two points became clear. (1) Both teachers shared the anxiety of not being able to establish their attitudes and behaviors as teacher educators. Their anxiety stemmed from the insecure position of being a teacher and being expected to play the role of a teacher educator. (2) The two teachers shared the same sense of impatience and resentment at not being able to realize the ideal teacher education system they had envisioned, but the degree of their conflicts differed. Their narratives suggested the difficulty of designing a vision for professional development in a single year. In light of these points, this study proposed the following three suggestions: establishing research and training projects to be carried out over multiple years, promoting community and professional development for teacher educators across schools, and giving professional status to teacher educators within schools.